Many thanks to Eric Wincentsen for typing this up.

Copyright 1989, Polygram Music Publishing, Inc.

SONG: 30 Years in the Bathroom

My lavatory has been my sanctuary
And it's easy for you to laugh at me
'Cos I been 30 good years in the bathroom, baby
Rubadubdub one man in a tub and it's me
Always me

And now the time has come to share the joke
That the latch on the bathroom door is broke
And now it's time to let you know
That it's only the beat of my heart that is slow

Who's fault is this? I deny that it's mine
I been stuck in here since 1959
That's 30 good years in the bathroom baby
But it's okay, yeah it's okay
Cos when they come to take me away
I will be clean, I will be clean


Well I been 30 years in a bad mood, baby
But it's okay, yeah it's okay 'cos that's better
Than 30 years on the back seat of a car
Oh beat me with the pumice stone
Eight to the bar


SONG: Radio Ass Kiss

Radio Ass Kiss on the air
Say what you like now no one cares
Radio Ass Kiss on the air
Say what you like now no one's scared

I caught the DJ pulling up his trousers
I'm staying tight lipped he's doing me a favour
I caught the DJ pulling up his trousers
Switch the station try another flavour

It's not seen, it's not heard
It's not mentioned by the spoken word
So bugger the plugger cos there'll be another
It's easy for the blind to see
And gives the company a policy


God bless the DJ jeepers yowsers
Who's got the problem?
Just look at my behaviour
God bless the DJ jeepers yowsers
Peel me off the corss
We don't need another saviour

It's not seen, it's not heard
It's not mentioned by the spoken word
So bugger the plugger cos there'll be another
I'm not making an apology
Or calling it my apology
Or calling it my policy


Thrills kids we've got another coaller, a lady pickpocket from over the
water. Jeeze I'm swell for doing her a favour, another dance beat for her
sickly little daughter.

SONG: Golden Green

She is golden but she's green
At all the things that I have seen
And the items that I'm hoarding up the back stairs
"Give 'em to me, give 'em now"
Shut it up you silly cow
"How could you say that, even think that, how?"

These words are not my own
They only come when I'm alone
She is loved, she is welcome in my home
She's taken all my vitamins
Used up my lighter fuel
I'm sure she stole all of my pencil lead in school
"Oh don't flop, I'll give it back"
But woman it's not the lack of my possessions
That is making me feel cruel

And if she loves me she'll say that she loves me
Even lies would shine in her eyes

SONG: Let's Be Other People

Introducing one of life's brighter dreams
Oh, F, congratulations on your death
It's been the greatestt thing you gave to me
So generous and selflessly, F.

Let's be other people
You can I can, all girls are boys and women loves man

But F, did I thank you on your death?
You left a mess and took my wife
Will you return to twist the knife, F.


This is not my tale, it's in a book I read when a man said
"Introducing one of life's brighter dreams"
But I don't dream, I don't dream, don't call me
"Beautiful Loser," don't call me

SONG: Piece of Sky

How did you get so very high
You got so high you almost touched the sky
Lady luck couldn't wish you more luck than I
So take a jump and steal your piece of sky

If luck was a bird then you shot it down
It's blood and it's feathers they lay spread on the ground
I won't look at you and ask why
Cos you'd take a piece and stick it in your eye

No it'll never be the same
But we're not to blame

So what's the point in making starts
When making starts just tears your heart
And where's the sense in recompense
When recompense don't make no sense at all

So take a jump and steal your piece of sky
Yeah, take a piece and stick it in your eye


SONG: Can't Shape Up

The pictures on the wall of faded, don't you get the feeling
That it's running away? I'm surprised we even made it this far
I'm guilty as charged, I'm running away
I can't save you
I can't save you and if you don't blame me then I won't blame you
I can't even get my eyes to tear 
It's been this way for more than a year
And now I'm gonna play with fear
But it's not here
I swear I've had the darkest feelings
Thought about swinging from the ceiling
Don't stop me now 'cos I'm free wheeling
And I can't steer
And it's not fair, no it's not fair
That I'm not there and you
Well you shouldn't care
I can't shape up, I just can't shape up

SONG: Don't Let Me Down, Gently

Don't let me down gently
If you have to let me down at all

I ain't calling you familiar
I don't know your face that well
Not like the shaving mirror
Hanging up inside your cell
I didn't call you here to tell you
I didn't call you here at all
'Cos I'm talking to myself again
And you're talking to the wall


It would be great to die together
On the first day of the year
'Cos then wee'd be quite legendary
Could you volunteer?
I don't think of you oh do you think of me
Is that often or not at all?
And ifyou have to let me down my friend
Then kick me to the floor


Oh say it's not true
The things they said we do
And how could I explain
The pleasure in the pain
They're calling us insane
Oh the knives, the blood, the bad, the good
D'ya think you could, do you?

SONG: Cartoon Boyfriend

"There's a worm in my head and a fish in the bed," she said
Confused you will be
He's got the car on the lawn and he's using the horn again
Annoyed she will be

Cartoon boyfriend when you gonna rub yourself out

"There's a girl at my door and she's begging for more," he said
"Abused you will be"
"If you touch a hair on my head then you'd be better off dead"
She said "Oh joking you must be"


There were pieces of gold in his mouth when they met
And now there's just pieces of coal
There was a thought in his head the first time she said
And now there's just a gaping hole

(They call hiim the Crayola Kid, yeah look what he did with his crayons
and stuff but, that's not enough, Crayola Kid.)

SONG: Good Night Though

So long

Well there's a lady that knows
All that glitters is not gold, she said
"Don't play that awful song
Don't play that awful song, cos then we'll know
That the party has gone on too long."

I said, "This stairway ain't to heaven
This one's to oblivion"

She said "You get too drunk, you get too high
Oh tell me why
Sod this, I'm going home on my own."

So long

SONG: Unfaithful

She left me once, she left me twice
She left me three times or more
But no, she didn't leave me at all
It's harder to smile when you've lied to a friend
But no, it's not hard at all

So it's back to the house and the wife and the kids
It's high time that she realised
But no, no it doesn't show
It was lucky I brought my disguise

Well if things never change I'll be back there again
I dare say there's some good in the bad
Deceit is a friend I've embraced him with ease
I missed out some of the chances I've had


SONG: Them, Big Oak Trees

Forgive us for the crimes that we are about to commit again
Forgive us for the change we've took
We are but little men

Oh I remember better times than these
Me, Acorn Man
Them, big oak trees

And I don't care if it rhymes anymore
I've been seen as the money mad
Money mad topical bore


Same way it's always been

And as Dave said (with the cough)
"Too much too soon" think again
Back to the board room, think again
Back to the bedroom, back to bed, back to bed
Back to bed..........................

SONG: Room 410

I remember the morning you roared into my room
We were trying to find a reason
To see though the gloom

Don't be worried now
Don't be sad
I'm not the best daydream
That you've ever had

When you thought I was expanding my head
I'm sorry, I'm embarassed, I"ll remember what you said

Don't be angry now
Don't be mad
I'm the worst fucking nightmare
That you've ever had